yes, its that time of the month
'dohhhh
i can't believe, i couldn't tell! tuesday i was soo sad, rememinising about about forgiveness and all after reading Barb's article about her own life, the jewish holiday and all that. wednesday, i twisted my knee again, i was limping all day.. thursday, i had trouble sleeping and i so much wanted pickles all day. and today i have another headache for the 7th ? day in row.
i put all my moodiness and pain aside and just called it, "i'm old before 50, and i need to walk" lol i completely forgot to look at the calender, not to mention i rarely know what the date actually is??
i keep myself in the fog i guess, cus quite simply, i have no need to know the date. just monday - friday, get kids to school pick up kids and try to pick up the house in between, if i feel well enough.
and then today i saw a post in the forum for diabetes. and how one women said her moms toes were amputated. i sware thats one of my biggest fears for old age. i mean i know i'm at high risk for diabetes, thats why i worked so hard to get healthy. but boy that rash stuff, just killed me. umm, beat me down perhaps, is a better word, since i'm still alive, and all. it took me how many years to gain strength? after finding out i had fibromyolgia. i decided, "no, i don't" LOL a year later and many trips to the y and all those lovely simptoms dissapeared. then i wrecked my knee falling down the stairs, finaly after a year of pain, i have the stupid surgery, and i fall down again on the way back in the house. i'm sure that why the surgery was worthless. i don't handle pain very well at all. but some physical therepy, and more trips to the y, that at least is under control. then of course the rash.. it doesn't sound like much, but oh my.. i've never been in so much pain. it was just differant.. i mean i had that the rash over my entire body, and it lasted like that for about 9 monthes. i had to give up swimming, :O that was my excerise at the y. now its 2 years since i first broke out, and i still have hives.. all in my hair of all places, and scars on my chest from the skin damage. as this is fading, i notice, lately i'm loosing the feeling in my feet and hands sometimes. great, just what i needed. huh ?
i mean really, in my life time, i already had.... PID, carpial tunnel, a bleeding ulser (that almost killed me), a car accident that ruined one knee, falling down the stairs ruined the other, gestation diabetes, back injuries, fibromyolgia, of course the surgery to correct one knee (that was as bad as having the problem) and cronic hives.
and somehow i forgot PMS, can aggrivate everything i ever had ..
well i didn't post this to make you sad or even really to tell u anything at all. just a movator to myself, to leave this chair a while, and do something. i just hate walking alone anymore.. but i know i have to put to away the excuses or diabeates will next thing on my list.. or worse, heart problems. my luck i wouldn't die either, i just be in more pain LOL
well, i am going to stop and just walk to the corner.. sounds so lame but maybe its a start..
i can't believe, i couldn't tell! tuesday i was soo sad, rememinising about about forgiveness and all after reading Barb's article about her own life, the jewish holiday and all that. wednesday, i twisted my knee again, i was limping all day.. thursday, i had trouble sleeping and i so much wanted pickles all day. and today i have another headache for the 7th ? day in row.
i put all my moodiness and pain aside and just called it, "i'm old before 50, and i need to walk" lol i completely forgot to look at the calender, not to mention i rarely know what the date actually is??
i keep myself in the fog i guess, cus quite simply, i have no need to know the date. just monday - friday, get kids to school pick up kids and try to pick up the house in between, if i feel well enough.
and then today i saw a post in the forum for diabetes. and how one women said her moms toes were amputated. i sware thats one of my biggest fears for old age. i mean i know i'm at high risk for diabetes, thats why i worked so hard to get healthy. but boy that rash stuff, just killed me. umm, beat me down perhaps, is a better word, since i'm still alive, and all. it took me how many years to gain strength? after finding out i had fibromyolgia. i decided, "no, i don't" LOL a year later and many trips to the y and all those lovely simptoms dissapeared. then i wrecked my knee falling down the stairs, finaly after a year of pain, i have the stupid surgery, and i fall down again on the way back in the house. i'm sure that why the surgery was worthless. i don't handle pain very well at all. but some physical therepy, and more trips to the y, that at least is under control. then of course the rash.. it doesn't sound like much, but oh my.. i've never been in so much pain. it was just differant.. i mean i had that the rash over my entire body, and it lasted like that for about 9 monthes. i had to give up swimming, :O that was my excerise at the y. now its 2 years since i first broke out, and i still have hives.. all in my hair of all places, and scars on my chest from the skin damage. as this is fading, i notice, lately i'm loosing the feeling in my feet and hands sometimes. great, just what i needed. huh ?
i mean really, in my life time, i already had.... PID, carpial tunnel, a bleeding ulser (that almost killed me), a car accident that ruined one knee, falling down the stairs ruined the other, gestation diabetes, back injuries, fibromyolgia, of course the surgery to correct one knee (that was as bad as having the problem) and cronic hives.
and somehow i forgot PMS, can aggrivate everything i ever had ..
well i didn't post this to make you sad or even really to tell u anything at all. just a movator to myself, to leave this chair a while, and do something. i just hate walking alone anymore.. but i know i have to put to away the excuses or diabeates will next thing on my list.. or worse, heart problems. my luck i wouldn't die either, i just be in more pain LOL
well, i am going to stop and just walk to the corner.. sounds so lame but maybe its a start..
posted by Emma Jean at 8:47 AM
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